Happy New Year, I'm outta here

Dear friends:

This is my last post.

Don’t panic, this has not been caused by any alarming reasons, I didn't get caught or any of those scary situations (knock on wood). As hard as this might be to believe, I've just run out of stories, plain and simple. Recently, life has become too much work and too little fun, hence my lack of material. Actually, the time I should spend looking for new adventures has been diverted to writing my old adventures.. one can't do it all and I need to get my fun, you understand.

Yes, yes, well there’s Becky I know I told you about her, but really I’m just getting started with her and who knows how long it will take for me to bed that one - if ever. And I won’t be that cruel as to keep you waiting for what could be weeks or months or… eternity.

Although I'm turning the blog page for now, I promise that if ever there is a story, either good or bad worth sharing, you’ll be the first to know. Besides, I’ll be around, I’m not going anywhere, I’ll just go back to the shadows where I was for long time before I decided to open my own shop, the shadows from where I quietly, faithfully and admiringly read and developed crushes on so many of you.

Thanks to all who have inspired me one way or ...both ways, you know what I mean: Miss I., Coquette, Confessor, Cate, Will, Me, Andy, Lakey, TuesdayMalone, Missy, Kevin, Rainy, Ella, Gaz, Aoefe, Dewey, Trinidad, Diable .. the list goes on and on- just look at my sidebar-. Some of them are gone, some are still around, and surely there's always new sluts on the block. Hmm. Am I forgetting someone? ah, yes: Special thanks to Riff of course, for his encouragement, for his spankings and for his friendship.

I’m looking forward to the extra time that will allow me to catch up with everybody's stories and to write comments, offer my two cents and dispense unsolicited advice. Love it!
But you always know where to find me, on Y! or G! or H!,or AM!. I'm all over the alphabet! And if you ever visit town, I’d love to show you around :)

Perhaps it was all the Christmas caroling and too much chocolate, but I'm feeling all Dr Seuss-ey today, go figure. So I'll leave you with my farewell masterpiece, titled: Eva fucks a who?

A new year comes, a page is turned
my friends, best wishes for you all.
May new adventures come your way
full of erotic escapades.

Be naughty a little, it'll keep you young
with girls or boys, ass, pussy or cock
have tits and clits, or lips and tongues
whatever it's that floats your boat.

Twosome, threesome, orgy or more
nobody is watching, have it all!
as long as it's not solitaire,
because it's just more fun to share.

As AM's motto always says:
life is too short, have an affair
go out, enjoy, play, laugh, love, fuck
and do your best not to get caught.


Adios amigos!
Besitos,
Eva

This far and no further

After we exchanged the courtesy emails about the party of three, I waited a couple of days to send Peggy an email asking her when would she be available to meet Spanky, either for lunch or coffee, whatever, I just wanted them to meet in person one time before scheduling the future fun-date: It took her two days to respond; give and take a few words:

Dear Eva,

Thank you for sharing yourself with us, for being so fun and for making our first threesome such a wonderful experience, it was really amazing blah blah blah(…) but my life is getting busy right now and I won’t be able to see you for a while. I’m going to have to say goodbye.

WTF?. Oh, really? Busy for a while and starting today huh? How convenient, you get busy right after you got what you wanted.

I was fuming! I was not about to be dumped by fucking email. So I gave her a call, this is pretty much what it boiled down to:

-“Hi, Peggy, so what was that email about?”- I asked
-“Um, nothing, it’s just that I got really busy, that’s all”- Totally off the tangent
- “Ah, ok”- I just remained quiet, giving her space to say whatever it was.
-“Oooh, Eva, can I still keep seeing you? Just you and me? I oh so want to keep seeing you, you’re so special to me”-
-“Umm, I’m confused, Peggy, what about our deal?”- Yes, I knew the answer already, but damn, I just wanted her to have the guts to tell it to my face.
-“Well, I don’t know, I’m not looking for a boyfriend”- she sounded offended
- “WHAT Boyfriend? Who’s talking about a boyfriend?” – really, I haven’t dealt with a coward this caliber in a long time
-“Well, I didn't go on AM looking for a guy and my husband won’t like it”- even more offended she replied
-“Your swinger hopeful husband, you mean? but Peggy, this was a deal between you and I. Why are you saying this now? - it was like speaking to a Martian, I couldn't understand a thing.
-“I want to keep seeing you, but just the two of us, just like before”- she insisted and refused to even touch on the subject at hand.
-“Hmm. but you’re not gonna do the threesome with us, even after I did the threesome with you and Jerry. That’s not fair, Peggy”- Fuck, I should have known!.
-“I told you, I don’t want a boyfriend, I just want a girl”. Stubbornly she insisted
“But. But. Peggy, why didn't you tell me this before? Why couldn't you be honest from the beginning. (you fucking cunt! you fucking liar user bitch)But o.k. Fine.
-“ So will I still see you again?”- she asked hopeful. Really, one has to be a total idiot or a total motherfucker to ask something like that (excuse my French, I get upset each time I remember)
-“No, Peggy. Listen, I can’t and won’t even try to force you to do anything you don’t want, but I have no desire in remaining your lover and I have no interest in your friendship either”- Users are not the kind of people I keep as friends you know.

Of course I wasn't as calmed then as the text above may suggest, but I didn't curse once, because, well, I'm three times a lady even when I'm fucking pissed. But I was hurt, I was sad, I felt used and humiliated, I felt stupid and taken advantage of. And what hurt me the most was that, perhaps naively I had let my guard down with Peggy because she was a woman. I let myself trust her, but I had a gut feeling all along that I refused to follow. Fuck, it had to be one my own gender the person who taught me the most painful lesson of betrayal. See? Whenever in the past when dealing with men, I keep my guard up; hell, I even expected the worst from men, but I’d never expect a stab like that coming from one of my own kind. Specially after I had been so nice to her. I beat myself up for a long time after, for being so nice and so willing and for putting so much work on that cunt (literally).

What upset me wasn't that much the fact that she backed out, I mean, I was not about to force anything on anybody, and I could have totally understood if she’d come to me with honesty, and told me about her doubts, hesitation or whatever. Sure, it would have been ideal had she told me before I joined them. But still, perhaps I wouldn't have liked it, but definitely I would have tried to understand. What upset me the most is that I felt she had been a human bait to get me into bed with her husband and that she didn't show any kind of remorse when disposing of me, fuck, she didn't even lay me down easy.

After that conversation was finished and once I got over my initial anger (took me a while), you have no idea how many times Spanky had to hear my bitter comments and how tender he was in helping me heal that wound; eventually I closed the Peggy chapter definitely, never to look back.

Or so I thought..

A week after, she started calling me, she started emailing me, she wanted me back, she wanted to see me, guess what? She seemed to have all the time in the world to (and for months after that) call me and write long sad emails about how much she missed me, oh my god, you won’t believe all the sad stories she told me trying to get my sympathy, how her marriage was in shambles, and how she had lost her libido, and she had lost all interest in sex, and how depressed she was and how much she thought of me… the list goes on and on. Funny though, not once she apologized... So after the sobs didn't have the effect she hoped for, she went on a moralistic attack against the fact that I had a lover. I'm telling you, it was ridiculous!.

Not too long ago, she even sent me an email reproaching me for posting a (very sexy) picture on my AM girl-girl profile and at that point I officially declared Peggy obsessed with me, or like Spanky called her, a jilted lover. I'm telling you, that girl can be intense!. But of course she misses me! and of course she wants me back and I bet you she'll never meet anyone remotely close to me, not just because I'm unbelievably hot (and modest) but because I'm truly kind and very giving. Oh, well, karma is a bitch!.

So this is it, this is how we get to the end of the Peggy saga, sadly it’s not the happy ending I know you were looking forward to, and trust me, it was even more disappointing for me (us).

And in case you're wondering, yes I'm still looking for that special girl, recently I started talking to Becky, oh, she's hot, very adventurous, a total slut and so much fun!. She's awoken a dominant instinct in me... and she seems game for everything! a real gem, this one looks like, but it's too soon to tell. With girs you never know. But my search is not over, so wish me luck, or even better, hook me up!

Los Tres

We met at the usual mall, I parked my car and jumped on Peggy's car, she drove us to the hotel where Jerry, her husband was already waiting for us.

We exchanged salutes at the parking lot and trying to look less conspicuous, Peggy and I went up to the room first and a few minutes later Jerry followed.

I had brought some candles, and I took my time positioning them around the room so we'd have enough light to see somewhat clearly and enough darkness to not feel over-exposed. I was a little apprehensive about getting naked in front of a third person, I mean, usually with a lover we are both getting naked, or there is at least mutual participation in the discarding of clothes, or, well, even with Spanky, he'd give me directions; but this was going to be more of a show, and, I confess, that made me nervous and self conscious.

Peggy was very quiet, she seemed nervous as well, funny, again looking back, I think I just took my motherly role too seriously because I found myself talking her "up" and making sure she was comfortable. Jerry turned out to be more easygoing than I thought (man after all), we exchanged jokes and casual talk, he even complimented my legs and my dress. He had brought his ipod thingy and plugged it to the nightstand deck, offering me a quite good selection of music to choose from. I selected a flamenco-ey playlist, quite sexy. Let me tell you, for occasions like this, every detail counts and I appreciated this thoughtful gesture.

He sat quietly at the chair on the dark far corner diagonal to the bed, the light of the candles didn't illuminate him, which worked out great: I knew he was there but I couldn't see him.

Peggy and I jumped to the bed and we started kissing. Well, you know the story with Peggy, she was just as paralyzed as always; I wish I could have hit a "pause" button at that time, to ask Jerry if she was this passive even with him. no, wait, I was about to find out.

I was wearing a baby doll type of lingerie that I chose because it gave me a little more coverage and I needed that reassurance, specially at the beginning of the session. Peggy was wearing a lacy bra and panties set. First I removed her bra and I was going back and forth between kissing her mouth and playing with her breasts; this time I was a little bit more aggressive and after overcoming my fear of hurting her, I got to suck hard and bite a little at her nipples. Peggy was quiet, I was quiet (well, my mouth was busy) Jerry was behaving wonderfully, not a peep came from that direction, I even managed to forget about him at times. One more reason to be thankful for the music.

She slid down the straps of my camisole and also kissed and sucked at my breasts, too gentle at first, so I asked her to do it harder and she complied, increasing the intensity as my hand started traveling down her torso and into her panties to find her (you guessed it) very wet pussy.

It had been perhaps close to 10 minutes of us playing like this, semi dressed; by now I was feeling more comfortable and warmed up, besides, the exhibitionist in me was calling to get out. So, I removed my camisole and now we were both equally undressed. Just picture it: two woman kneeling in front of each other, kissing and pressing their tits together, wearing nothing but tiny - and soon to be removed-panties; mine were pink, hers black.

I started working my way down her, she laid down and I removed her panties and went to work at licking, sucking, biting and lapping at her pussy, Peggy got louder as I worked my magic tongue on her; I also was more aggressive with my fingers, fucking her with not one, but two of them (which actually felt ergonomically easier, btw).

So I finger fucked her simultaneously with my tongue and lips around her clit ; pretty much the same thing I had done in the past, except that I didn't spend that much time eating her out, soon I started working her with the vibrator in and out of her and it looked like finally she got into cum gear, or so it seemed, but to be quite honest, this time I didn't hear the right sequence, you know, there are the moans, then the loud screaming, then this chirping noise: Peggy had this cumming sound, like a bird; it was brief and low, and it was followed by a few seconds of silence. That was Peggy's cum sequence, this time she didn't get to the silence, so I'm not sure if she didn't cum or if she was being more vocal this time or what, probably his presence had something to do with it, surely is challenging to let go in front of an audience, regardless of whom it is, or, precisely for whom it is. Anyways, I wasn't sure that she had cum, but I was done.

After removing the vibrator out of her suction cunt, I got up and went to lay besides her, Peggy (as always) took her sweet time recovering from the orgasmic wave (yeah right), but there was no escape now, I mean, somebody was watching and it was her turn to put up the show and try to look good.

So, thanks to her husbands presence, I got to receive a few licks from Peggy, but darn, really, when someone is just not into it, it just doesn't feel right. But I was determined to make her work hard in front of her husband (ha ha) so I let her work down on me for a little bit longer, up until when she tried to insert a finger in me and it hurt so damn bad that I grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her away.

We kept kissing for a little bit longer, but by now it must have been what? close to an hour, I guess of us playing together. We needed to give that man something, I mean, she needed to give her man something. Besides, this was getting boring. So I leaned into Peggy and whispered in her ear: "Go bring Jerry here and show me how good you can suck him". Her eyes widened for a moment, she hesitated a bit, but after my encouragement she called out to him, Jerry got up and walked towards the bed, Peggy was sitting at the edge and her hands moved to unzip his pants.
-"get him naked" I said from the comfort of my pillow- now, this part was fun.

She helped him out of his clothes, he must have removed his shoes earlier, I guess, because he just walked out of his jeans easily.

And so Jerry stood by the bed as Peggy started to suck him; at first I sat behind her, my legs outside of hers, my breasts pressing against her back, my hands touching her breasts and playing with her nipples, my mouth kissing her neck and my eyes traveling from Jerrys' eyes that were looking at me intensely to Peggy's body. Then I removed myself from behind her and came to kneel next to her and closer to him. My hand traveled up and down his torso and his hand reached down to touch me. The poor guy must have been just too excited, I guess, because, ouch, for a first time touch on my nipples, that was quite hard..at some point Peggy must have moved away giving him room to bend down to kiss me. It was ok, a little bit sloppy, he kissed with a very open mouth, again, probably he was just too excited because, yup, that definitely felt like an anxious type of kiss.

The kiss was short, then Jerry pulled away from her and got on his knees, Peggy parted her legs wide and reclined back on my torso, I was behind her. His head dunked between her legs, his lips wrapping her pussy and I could guess his fingers digging into her, I let Peggy lay flat on her back and I knelt besides her, my mouth traveling from her lips to her neck to her breasts my hands caressing and playing with her breasts, or with her hair or her arms, kissing her, licking her, eating her all over. OOOH, Peggy was in heaven! Imagine, two mouths working on her, four hands traveling up and down her body... all she had to do was lay down and float in the pleasure....oooh I so wanted that too [to me, actually that moment was the highlight of the day- hot!]

Next Jerry laid flat on the bed and Peggy went back to work on his cock, here I had a better view of what she was doing, which was actually mostly working her hand on his shaft while her lips kept wrapped on his head. For the first time I had a full view of his cock and well, yes, I wanted to get more involved in the scene, so my hand replaced hers in traveling up and down his shaft, then my tongue intercepted with a few laps, Peggy moved her head away and allowed me room to position my lips around Jerry's cock and I gulped him down. It was quite easy, actually, he's one of those conveniently sized for easy deep throating. I had my eyes closed, but I could feel Peggy's face cheek to cheek with mine, and Jerry went into a heavenly silence, yup the kind most men go to at first when you take them deep in your throat. I gave him a few seconds of bliss and then moved away, not like I was planning or even interested in sucking him for a long time, I just wanted to be a good sport (ok, ok, perhaps show off a little) and show that girl that deepthroating is not that difficult. Gosh, that was nothing compared to ... anyways.

After I pulled away, Peggy sat on him, reverse-cowgirl position, I was facing her now, my knees outside his thighs, kissing her and playing with her breasts again; at one point I even bent down to lick her clit, but that was just really difficult do because she kept moving.

Now, that's when things got boring for me: up until that point I had made sure to be an active participant of the whole thing to an extent, but all of a sudden, he flipped Peggy on her back and he started fucking her fiercely... as they both got in sync, well, I felt left out. Yes, sure I had the vibrator at hand, but hm, well, the scene wasn't even that hot. He started pounding her like a madman, the man was working so hard, he started sweating profusely, drops of his sweat were flying! well, perhaps some of you find that hot, but to me it only looked yucky. Sweaty guys are not my thing, gosh, at some point I was tempted to tell him, "darling you're too heavy for such strenuous activity, here, wipe yourself and take a break".

Anyways, he pounded, she moaned and I watched. It was like watching life porn - the repetitive one-. They went at it for quite some time and not a hand reached out to me. Yes sure, I could have pushed myself between them, but, really? not only I had agree to this but they were discourteous enough to forget about their guest?. Fuck this shit.

Like she had read my mind, Peggy turned to me and asked me if I wanted Jerry to fuck me. What the fuck? just like that? ha, like he was agreeing to do me a big favor or something. Why didn't she invite him to eat me first? probably that would have made me more receptive (you bitch). I didn't like the way that suggestion made me feel, like I was a hired help. I mean, for a second I even considered how much I should charge for this... like she had told him, sure, I'll bring a girl so you can fuck her. Hellooo??! in order to fuck someone you have to work on getting them turned on first. You don't invite a woman into a threesome and expect her to be just ready to have a cock in her without putting the minimal effort. At least not in my book. "No thanks, I don't think I'm ready" was my response.

That was a great turn off, actually. Hell, this much I knew: that request should have come out of me , like, oh my god, I'm so turned on now, please fuck me!. Seriously, just because I agreed to a three play, doesn't mean I'm just so ready to spread my legs open just because he "offered his cock". fuck no, thank you very much.

They kept at their fucking, I kept watching and getting cold, frankly, I was so ready to go under the sheets, then he mumbled something to her and Peggy turned around, and said (wait for this) " Jerry wants to see me going down on you while he fucks me doggie style". Ok, perhaps things were turning in my favor now. I positioned myself on the bed, legs wide open and ready to welcome Peggy's mouth on me. Well, sure, her intentions appeared to be noble, only that all the time her face was just inches from my pussy, but she didn't bring her mouth down...and I even "played with her hair" kind of giving her the signal. It was even kind of funny, like she needed to keep moaning and talking instead of getting to work on me; besides, Jerry was pounding her so hard, it would have been impossible for her to stay on target (not like she tried). Pound. Pound. Pound. and Jerry came with a loud grunt.

I still had my hopes that now they would turn the tables on me, that he'd get to work at eating me or fingering me or something, while she kissed me, or vice-versa, as long as it was just like we had done it before on her, or on him. but no. He was done. They were done.

Jerry went to the bathroom to dry himself up and then we all laid in bed with Peggy in the middle, still I was hoping that she'd start kissing me and getting things warmed up again, I even kissed her to see if any of them got the hint that I wanted a little something more. But to no avail. So we talked for a little bit, then we got dressed and we left.

And that, ladies and gents, is how my first threesome went.

So, ok. It wasn't amazing, but still, it was interesting and one more experience for the record. Now I had done my side of the deal and the best part was yet to come...because one thing I knew for sure was that no matter how bad Peggy was, I could always count on Spanky to save the day.

A deal is a deal

We were having a picnic, enjoying yet another sunny day together. Peggy and I had those kind of dates too, that was the friends part of our "thing", it was very enjoyable. We had frequent heart to heart conversations about our lives and the state of affairs at home, we shared a lot and got to know each other more intimately too.

As far as Peggy was concerned, she was totally satisfied sexually by her husband, for what she describe to me, he was one of the adventurous type, he'd bring up suggestions to try new things (including adding more people into their mix), always interested and ready for sex, loved to perform orally and, on top of that, was supposedly well endowed, in good shape and with quite some stamina: one of those that bangs you until you're impossibly sore. So far, so good. And, it's not that they didn't have sex, they did, a lot; but for what she described (and for what I got to experience first hand), she just limited herself to doing the bare minimum, meaning, laying there. And that was something her husband complained about.

Keeping up with my mentor-fairy godmother role, I started giving my pupil girl some sex advice and encouragement into being a more active and innovative participant in bed with her husband, i.e: why do you feel yucky about oral?, give swallowing a try, it's not that bad, darling; or, anal, why not?, if it's done correctly it could be lovely, start slowly and see how it goes; or, it's fun to switch it up a little bit: missionary is great, but there are so many other positions to try. And so on and so forth...And of course, every time she revealed yet another issue, all I could say in my head was "no wonder".

I suspected her husband wasn't as good as she believed, though; specially by the feedback I got from her after each time I went down on her; well, yes, modesty aside, I know I'm orally gifted but also you could tell that this girl had never been properly eaten before. Sadly I concluded that she just had no reference to compare him with...You know how it is for most of us girls when we had our first: we thought he was the best lover in the universe; but as we encountered other men, we realized that being the first doesn't necessarily mean being the best.

Confessions came and went and we ended up having the threesome conversation: Amongst other things, Peggy told me that she and hubby had gone trough some difficult times during their marriage because of their sexual incompatibility. Peggy was in total fear that her husband would either leave her or start fooling around. So after their last crisis, she ended up creating the girl-girl profile on AM. Still to this day I'm not sure how much of that move was made by her own bi-curiosity and how much was done under his pressure.

As you know, Spanky and I had the threesome conversation as well, and that was something I knew would be fun to experience together. Oh boy, how much I was looking forward to that! grrr, I could just imagine how crazy he'd go after seeing me going down on a woman or vice versa. Anyways, all of a sudden all pieces fell into place and a whole new opportunity opened ahead for the four of us. Finally my hard work was going to pay off big time!.

Peggy and I made a pact: I'd join her and hubby for a play date so she could finally fulfill that fantasy for him, then, in return, she'd join Spanky and I, which would let her to take her first steps into the swinging territory in (ahem) the best possible hands she could ever find. Of course she loved the idea and we even joked that I'd be able to give her some "in the field" instruction as well. We were discussing limitations and requirements for the dates, Peggy gave me "carte blanche" to go as far as I wanted with her husband, meaning I had total liberty to invite him to join us or not, and to whichever extent I desired; of course the same applied to her, but more likely I suspected that (knowing her) Spanky was only going to be allowed to watch us from a distance; I doubted she'd go any further. But that was good enough for me (us), so we sealed the pact with a kiss.

Yes, I know it was not the most spontaneous way to come to it, but seriously, how else? I mean, unless you are in a swingers club or some other environment where alcohol flows and bodies rub against each other, there's not much spontaneity to set up a fuck date, be it with one person or two. You just agree to it, show up and do the best you can, hoping of having a good time.

Being me the most experienced and the less uptight of the two us, it was natural that I was going to join Peggy and her hubby first, that way, she'd get somehow familiar with having a third person watching us and hopefully would be a little more comfortable and more knowledgeable of what to expect when the time came for her to join us. Also I'd be able to seize her up a little better after seeing her interact with the one man she was most comfortable with, and with that info, I could better plan the encounter to make it the best possible experience for all involved.

A few days after that, Peggy came to my house again; no need to relate what turned out to be yet another unsatisfactory encounter, but (modesty aside) one more orgasmic carnival for her that included a bubble bath for two and aqua-orgasms. Damn, I'm good!.

That day her husband came to pick her up and I got to see him for the first time. Hmm.hmm... I wasn't impressed at all by what I saw. Definitely Peggy's definition of "in shape" is quite more generous than mine, let's just leave it at that. Immediately I knew that I wasn't going to go all the way with that guy, honestly I didn't find him attractive, he was not my type at all and my first impression was that he was a little... dull. But that ultimately depended on the flow of things behind closed doors and I assumed he'd have plenty of opportunities to impress me. Still, to me the threesome was more about her than about him, so regardless of getting fucked or not, the whole experiment was going to be quite an interesting experience, and, at the very least, that lucky man was going to get a hell of a privileged view!.

Although I was not hot for the guy, still the whole prospect was quite exciting, besides, a deal is a deal and I'm a woman who honors her promises the best she can. Next time I was to meet Peggy, it was going to be for a party of three.

Peggy for breakfast.

Ok, let's get this story over with and close the Peggy chapter once and for all. My walk of shame will take about three posts to wrap it up. Finally, and let's thank to the Christmas spirit, I gathered the courage to share the rest of the Peggy story with you. Besides, I want to start the new year turning this page and preparing for a fresh start. Ready? set, here we go.

So you've read the first episodes of the Peggy series... fast forwarding now to the first day she came to my house. Invitation that broke the rule of never having lovers over at my marital sanctuary; however the fact that she's a woman made it feel less of an transgression. Shouldn't, but it did. I mean, I knew that if Adam walked in on me making out with a girl, he'd be shocked, but wouldn't file for divorce the day after. But if he found me with a man.. well, there would be blood.

I limited Peggy's access into my home to the living room and the downstairs common area, I didn't want to invite her into my bedroom, or, more specifically, into my bed: that would have been too much for me. Luckily we have a TV room with a sofa bed that is roomy and comfortable. Earlier that day, I had previously opened it, in preparation for our supposed lazy morning together: fresh lavender scented sheets, plushy duvet, pillows, candles, the works. The room was transformed into a little universe of peace and a space inviting to love. I offered her some wine as she arrived, in the hopes that it could get us (me) more relaxed, but she declined. So we had to stick to juice and water. bummer.

Peggy had brought a couple of movies, porn movies, girl on girl, her favorites. We popped the first DVD on the player and half sat, half laid down side by side to watch... let me tell you, it was awkward. First I'm not too crazy for spontaneously porn watching, I do enjoy it from time to time, but I have to be in the right mindset before watching it, porn is one thing that I only enjoy when I crave it, when I'm extremely horny and when my brain is too tired to come up with fantasies of its own... and that doesn't happen very often.

Second, I was totally paranoid about the sounds... the thing is, I share walls with neighbors, not too thin as to distinguish specific words, but thin enough to get a sense if there is a fight going on or a fuck going on next door... And here I was, playing this movie, with all the oohs! and aahs! and oh yeahs! typical for this genre.. I was nervous, already picturing my next door neighbor sticking an ear to the wall and obviously figuring out what I was about on that quiet weekday morning.

The film was nothing particularly hot, at least not to me: scene one, three girls on the stairs, kissing and giggling and mostly making the loud noises... scene two, the same girls naked on the bed: the one in the center was getting all the attention while the other two kind of worked on her, then there was a pairing of girl 1 and 2 while the third made noises, then a vibrator was brought out and more noises, then the snake came into the picture... and even more noises. Anyways, inevitably I started feeling the tickling between my legs, that sensation that makes you want to contract and press your legs together. More than anything, I was secretly hoping for her to make a move on me, for once, I mean, it had been her idea to bring the movies, I kind of expected her to start the action as well.

I wish I had known what was going through Peggy's mind at the time, I was sitting there watching this movie and the whole scene was just making me uncomfortable; another problem for me: I don't know how to use porn as a visual aid for sex.. what? are you supposed to try to imitate what they're doing on the screen? are you supposed to go back and forth between the screen and your partner? is it appropriate to make comments of what one sees on the screen? like, look at that cute pillow back there...after a while, I confess, I was paying more attention to the decoration of the room or the color of their toenails than to the repetition of licks and exaggerated kisses and oohs and ahhs...All I wanted was to turn the volume off, to begin with, and take a nap.

But somebody had to get things started, and just like the first time, Peggy was petrified with her eyes fixed on the screen... so I moved from neutral to first gear. But it just wasn't right. I wasn't feeling what I was supposed to be feeling: an overwhelming desire to feel her lips on mine, or a burning urge to touch her skin; or to rub myself against her. None of that was happening inside of me, it felt more like a duty, like she had come all the way to my house and now it was my time to "pay her back", to "make the trip worth it". I know, I know, I shouldn't have. But I did.

So we started kissing and undressing each other, Peggy obediently followed my moves and soon we were naked. But funny, we always kept a distance between our bodies, embracing didn't happen, like it didn't occur to us, I don't know why. The movie was still on but I had muted it (thank god). Peggy was super wet (again) and I was super dry (again), that girl was just letting me do, without much giving (again), well, except one thing; at one point she slid her hand between my legs and she did quite some accurate clit-fingering. I was surprised, it felt good, I guess the movies can teach a thing or two after all... but , as you girls know, there's so much one can take of that before going totally numb. If the fingering is not accompanied by other moves, the effect is just disastrous. Soon after the initial good feeling, my clit shut down. End of story.

And this I'm writing fully ashamed of myself: the whole thing became that day to me a battle of wills (but in the bad way), fully planned an executed in my head: "if you don't do it for me, I won't do it for you". Well, yes, I can be somewhat vindictive at times. I briefly went down on her again (this time the smell wasn't as strong as the first time), but I kept it short enough to make sure she never got close to cumming. Unluckily for me, that girl just gets turned on too easily! no matter how badly I performed, she was loving it! seriously, she was so wet and so "into it"! I kissed her with mediocrity, she moaned; I touched her off target, she shivered; I kissed her breasts lazily, she threw her head back and abandoned herself into the wave; I fingered her way too gently, she groaned... which only helped in aggravating my already vengeful mood. All I felt was a shameful envy. I wanted to feel like that, I wanted to be that sensitive and turned on, I wanted to be the one touched and kissed and fingered.. I wanted to be the center of the attention, not the sex slave. Why couldn't I get it on?. fuck, had I been a man, I'm sure I'd have a limping shrinking cock, I was totally blocked.

She kissed me and made another failed attempt to go down on me, gosh, she was so bad I just wanted to turn her away, plus, did I mention that she had acrylic nails? yes! so the possibility of her fingering me was just out of the question, and well, you'd need a really expert tongue to get me going without fingering... something Peggy is a few reincarnations away from. But still I felt bad for her (why, why?) and so I expertly faked it and got her off me as soon as possible.

But Peggy wanted more. She hadn't got to cum yet, because I purposely and in all evilness wasn't bringing her there. She got up, walked to her bag and brought out this long pink snake, you know, those used for double penetration or mutual penetration, whatever. The snake looked just like the one the girls in the movie had used in scene 3. Oh fuck. NO!

-Wanna play with this? she asked.
-HmHm (not really, is what I should have said, but people pleaser that I am...)

We brought out the lube, applied a generous amount of it to the pink monstrosity... Good host that I am, I worked it in Peggy first and of course she went into cum gear. Then it was my turn to get it in; I held to the other head of the snake and tried quite unsuccessfully to get it inside of me, not only I was dry, I was closed shut.. I managed to insert the head about an inch in my pussy, but it was painful. I tried to work it in and out, it burned, I worked the vibrator on my clit. Impossible. Besides, the position was kind of awkward, Peggy was comfortably laying on her back, way on her way to seventh heaven, while I did a couple of contortions to position myself in front of her and work the damn thing in and out.

This was not going to work for me. Something was missing... Something like, uhm I don't know: a third person!!! in the movie, there were three girls, so while the two connected by the snake laid down and enjoyed the ride, the third one was moving the thing back and forth (and quite fast and hard, may I add). But in our case, who was going to move the monster? there needs to be an in and out movement, you see, this was not a vibrator, just a silicone tube..

So I did the work (again), folding in half my torso so I could hold the snake and see what I was doing moving it in and out of Peggy's cunt while I watched her reach ecstatic delight. That woman can cum with the brush of a petal. I'm telling you, unbelievable!. Most of the time I was just looking at her in bewilderment: how can she be enjoying this so much? she's got to be faking it! I mean, really?, the snake part was pretty much watching her masturbate in front of me. Or, to be more precise, me masturbating her with it. That's it! that's what it always felt like, like I was masturbating Peggy, either with my mouth, or hands or with an external accoutrement. That was not lovemaking. Actually, at times, I don't even thing my presence mattered or made that much of a difference, this girl was on a world of her own, a world where I was not invited.

And just as she was having all her fun, I kept struggling with the fucking snake, trying to work it in me, but I couldn't get to insert it, the more I tried, the more it hurt. I had a pool of lube all over me and still couldn't work the damn thin in comfortably. She didn't seem at all interested in helping me out, not a word, not a whisper, she was far, far away...so I faked yet another one, removed the snake from me (and eventually from her) and that was the end of the sex.

Cuddling? are you kidding me?! I was so upset by the whole fiasco, I couldn't even get myself to kiss her after that. And as I've told you, she doesn't take the initiative, not even for kissing or hugging. We laid there for a while, then we got dressed and went out to have some lunch.

In retrospective, I think I kept meeting Peggy because I felt that there was something wrong with me; I thought that I was doing something wrong, that if I wasn't getting turned on or wet or whatever, the issue was in my head. To me, it just wasn't possible that one of us was having so many orgasms and so much fun while the other just wasn't feeling a thing. I thought it was a matter of working at it, of working something in my head, perhaps of getting used to her...perhaps of making her feel even more comfortable, even more turned on so she would have the desire to reciprocate. Always, after meeting her, I found myself comforting my wounded spirit: next time, Eva darling, next time it will be better. So, determined to make IT happen, I kept seeing her. Alas, sometimes our own stubbornness is our worst enemy.